Women, Burnout, and Alcohol: Why Drinking Isn’t Fixing Exhaustion
- Amy C. Willis
- May 3
- 8 min read
If you’ve ever reached the end of the day completely depleted and thought:
“I just need something to take the edge off”
You’re not alone.
More women are using alcohol as a way to cope with exhaustion, pressure, stress and burnout. Not because they lack discipline, but because they are running on empty.
And while burnout and alcohol are often talked about separately, they are worth examining together.
The 2025 Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey found that six in 10 senior-level women report frequent burnout, compared to about half of men at the same level. The same report notes that burnout among senior-level women is higher than ever in the study’s tracking, and that women are facing less career support and fewer opportunities to advance.¹
At the same time, alcohol use and alcohol-related harms among women have been rising. A 2017 study in JAMA Psychiatry found that high-risk drinking among women in the United States increased by 57.9% between 2001–2002 and 2012–2013, while alcohol use disorder among women increased by 83.7%.² More recent CDC data also show that deaths from excessive alcohol use increased by 35% among girls and women from 2016–2017 to 2020–2021, compared to a 27% increase among boys and men.³
While we cannot conclude the causal relationship between burnout and alcohol use among women, these data point to something important:
Women are exhausted and rates are burnout are on the rise.
Women’s alcohol use and alcohol-related harms have increased.
And alcohol is still widely positioned as a normal - even expected - way to cope.
That combination deserves attention.
What Burnout Actually Looks Like for Women
Burnout is often framed as occasional stress.
That is not what many women are experiencing.
Burnout looks like:
chronic exhaustion
feeling mentally and emotionally stretched thin
difficulty switching off
carrying the invisible load of planning, organizing and anticipating, often in both the professional and personal realms
performing at a high level while privately feeling depleted
It is not just about workload.
It is about sustained pressure without enough recovery that compounds over time.
And when that becomes your baseline, your capacity to cope starts to shrink.
Why Alcohol Becomes the Default
When you are burned out, you are not looking for optimization.
You are looking for relief.
Alcohol can feel like:
an immediate change in state
a way to create a boundary between work and home
a reward for getting through the day
a shortcut to turning “off”
It is accessible, socially accepted and heavily normalized, particularly as a stress management and self-care tool for women.
So instead of asking whether it is actually helping, many women default to what feels easiest.
That is especially true when alcohol has been sold to women as a reward, a stress reliever, a social connector and a symbol of successful adulthood.
Why It Feels Like It Works
Alcohol does create a temporary shift.
It can:
quiet your thoughts
reduce tension in the moment
make you feel like you are finally exhaling
create the illusion of relief
That short-term effect is what reinforces the habit.
Your brain learns:
I feel overwhelmed → I drink → I feel different.
But different is not the same as better.
And temporary relief is not the same as recovery.
To learn more about what's happening when we drink in response to stress, read more here: Drinking to Cope With Stress: Why It's So Common for Women (and What Actually Helps)
Why Alcohol Makes Burnout Worse
Alcohol does not restore you.
It depletes you further.
Research on alcohol and mental health shows that alcohol is often used to cope with symptoms of psychological distress, even though it can ultimately make those problems worse.
NIAAA notes that alcohol use disorder frequently co-occurs with conditions like anxiety, depression, trauma- and stress-related disorders, and sleep disorders and that alcohol may be used to cope with symptoms while worsening the underlying issue.⁴
Alcohol also disrupts sleep. Even when it helps you fall asleep faster, it can make sleep lighter, more fragmented and less restorative.⁵
So the pattern becomes:
burnout → drink → temporary relief → worse sleep, more anxiety, lower capacity → deeper burnout
If you’ve noticed feeling more anxious or exhausted the next day after drinking, this is part of the cycle.
You can read more here:
The Cycle Most Women Don’t See
This is where things get frustrating.
You might tell yourself:
“I’m not going to drink tonight.”
But by the time evening hits:
you are depleted
your decision-making, willpower and motivation are low
you just want relief
your brain is reaching for the familiar option
So you drink.
Not because you do not care.
Because your system is maxed out.
If this shows up most in your evenings, this will help:
The Workplace Piece No One Is Talking About
Burnout and alcohol are often discussed separately.
But in many professional environments, they are closely connected.
High-performing women are:
carrying significant responsibility
managing constant pressure
expected to maintain composure
enduring toxic workplace environments and microaggressions
navigating unequal support, sponsorship and opportunity
often doing additional relational, emotional or inclusion-related labour
At the same time, alcohol is normalized as:
a way to unwind after work
a social bonding tool
a reward for pushing through
a default feature of networking, conferences, retreats, client meetings and team events
This creates a dynamic where burnout is high and alcohol is positioned as the solution.
That does not mean every burned-out woman drinks.
It also does not mean every woman who drinks is burned out.
But it does mean organizations need to take this seriously.
Because if workplaces are contributing to sustained pressure and alcohol is one of the culturally accepted ways people cope with that pressure, then this is not only an individual issue: it is also a cultural and organizational one.
If You’re Stuck in This Cycle
Most women do not need better coping strategies thrown at them like another item on the to-do list.
They need a different structure.
If you are burned out and using alcohol to get through your evenings, it is not a lack of willpower.
It is that your current system is not supporting you.
This is exactly the work I do with clients: helping women reduce reliance on alcohol, rebuild their capacity, and create routines that actually work in real life.
If you are ready for that level of support, you can apply for private coaching here:
What Actually Helps Instead of Drinking
The goal is not perfection.
The goal is support.
You do not need to overhaul your entire life.
You need something that works when you are tired, depleted and at the end of your capacity.
1. Create a Transition Out of Your Day
One of the biggest drivers of drinking in burnout is the lack of a clear transition.
If you move straight from work responsibilities into home responsibilities, your brain will look for the fastest way to shut things down.
Alcohol becomes the shortcut.
Instead, build a small, intentional pause between your day and your evening.
This might look like:
a short walk
a shower
sitting in silence for a few minutes
changing your clothes and stepping away from your workspace
It does not need to be complicated.
It just needs to signal that the day is done.
2. Reduce the Load on Your Evenings
Burnout is not just about what you do during the day.
It is also about what you expect from yourself at night.
A lot of women try to fix drinking by adding more.
More routines. More productivity. More “healthy habits.”
But when you are burned out, adding more is not the answer.
Reducing pressure is.
That might look like:
ordering food instead of cooking
going to bed earlier
saying no to plans
letting things be good enough
You are not trying to optimize your evenings.
You are trying to recover from your day.
3. Replace the Function, Not Just the Drink
Alcohol is doing something for you.
It might be:
helping you relax
creating a boundary between work and home
giving you a moment to yourself
numbing mental noise
If you remove it without replacing that function, the gap will still be there.
Instead of focusing only on stopping drinking, ask:
What do I actually need right now?
And respond to that directly.
That might be:
quiet
rest
connection
space
This is how you build something sustainable instead of constantly relying on willpower.
4. Understand the Pattern
Burnout and drinking are not random.
They follow a pattern.
When you start to pay attention, you will likely notice:
when the urge shows up
what your day looked like beforehand
what you are feeling in that moment
what alcohol is promising you
This is not about judging yourself.
It is about understanding what is happening so you can interrupt it.
Because once you can see the pattern clearly, you can start to change it.
A Quick Reality Check
If alcohol were actually helping you recover from burnout, you would feel better over time, not worse.
If You’re Ready to Change This Pattern
If you are tired of using alcohol to cope with burnout and want something that actually works, you do not have to figure this out alone.
Inside private coaching, we:
unpack the patterns driving your drinking
rebuild your capacity and resilience
create boundaries and habits that support you
re-prioritize you, your needs and creating plans for real and sustainable care
create systems that support real, lasting change
Apply here:
For Organizations and Teams
This is not just an individual issue; it is also a cultural and organizational one.
Burnout and alcohol use are often connected, especially among high-performing women navigating sustained pressure without enough support or recovery.
I work with organizations to offer talks and workshops that explore:
the link between burnout and alcohol use
how workplace culture reinforces both
why surface-level wellness initiatives often miss the point
what actually supports women’s wellbeing, capacity and long-term performance
If this is something you want to bring into your organization, you can learn more here: https://www.holandwell.com/speaking-and-consulting
FAQ: Women, Burnout, and Alcohol
Why do I drink more when I’m burned out?
Because your brain is looking for fast relief. When your capacity is low, alcohol can feel like the easiest way to change how you feel.
Is drinking to cope with burnout a problem?
It is common, but it often makes burnout worse over time by disrupting sleep, increasing anxiety and stress, and reducing resilience.
Why does alcohol feel like it helps me relax?
Because it creates a temporary shift in your nervous system. That relief is short-lived and can be followed by a rebound effect.
What can I do instead of drinking when I’m exhausted?
Focus on reducing pressure and creating recovery. Build a transition out of your day, lower expectations for your evenings, and get support instead of adding more demands.
How do I stop drinking when I’m burned out?
You need more than a decision. You need structure, awareness of your patterns, and support that helps you follow through when you are depleted.
Why should workplaces care about burnout and alcohol?
Because burnout does not stay neatly contained inside work hours and ultimately, it negatively impacts performance and organizational health. When workplace pressure is chronic and alcohol is normalized as a way to unwind, organizations need to look beyond surface-level wellness and address the culture that keeps people depleted.
The Bottom Line
Burnout is not a personal failure.
And using alcohol to cope with it is not a sign that something is wrong with you.
It is a response to sustained pressure without enough support or recovery.
But alcohol is not fixing it.
It is keeping the cycle in place.
When you understand what is actually happening and build something that supports you instead, change becomes possible.
Cheering you on, always 🫶🏼
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